Welcome to my life.
Me: "My name is Emily, and I am a perfectionist."
In unison: "Hi Emily"
Okay, so now that that's over... *ahem*
I have a problem. Actually, I have a lot of problems. But for some reason, this topic has been on my mind lately and I knew that this was what I had to write about first. My parents and myself are perfectionists.
To start off, let's look into the actual definition of the word 'perfectionism':
"a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable"
That.... is seriously my life. My family has these tendencies to the max. We are in the middle of renovating our house.... since 1992. My dad is afraid to start things a lot because he's scared it won't be perfect. It HAS. TO. BE. PERFECT. My mom is the best at conquering her perfectionism.. lots of bloggers have helped her just get things done and realize that everything doesn't have to be done perfect every time, such as cleaning. You'd spend all your days scrubbing toilets if you had to have everything sanitary at all times! But still.. there are many sewing projects that she has yet to start. Honestly, a lot of that is probably because of the lack of time on her hands, but we all do have a huge hesitation to start things we can't finish right away.
This is where we switch over to me....
Homework is one thing. I call myself lazy; and I am. I have been. I am a perfectionist, which comes with procrastination. I never got much schoolwork done in high school because I didn't think I could finish it all at once. I hate starting things I can't finish! But to be completely, utterly real with you, I have to tell you that a huge part of that came from another problem I have: germophobia. I don't even know if I would call it that, but that is what relates to the simplest. I have different "levels" of clean that I am throughout a day, depending on what I do and what I touch. So, with schoolbooks.. I couldn't touch them unless I had just showered, touching much else before my books. It is bad.
I have good days and bad days. I am getting better about it over time but it's still a problem.
This is a huge reason that I haven't graduated high school yet... technically. Like I tell everyone who inquires, it's complicated.
Back to perfectionism... my room is an absolute disaster. I just can not seem to get it clean when I start! I don't want to start something that I can't finish, so I rarely get far into it. Then it just gets messy again. I am trying to overcome this, but like I've said, it's hard. My phobia comes into play with this, too. I am just a mess, you guys!!
We all have things that we need to work on. My phobia, perfectionism, and laziness are the heaviest burdens I carry at this time.
**I'm wrapping this up, I promise!**
God does not want us to be perfectionists. Yes, He asks that we do the very best we can in our lives, but the very best thing is this:
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Cor. 10:31
We are to strive to be like Him, but we have to understand that in doing that, we will never be perfect like He is. We are flawed by sin.
God wants us to do everything for His glory. So maybe everything won't work out exactly as you had hoped or planned, but if you have the right intentions (which is to glorify Him), then you will be serving within His wishes and plans.
On this earth, perfectionism is overrated. Be real, be you, and serve God. :)