Guys, I'm really nothing special. It's kind of strange being me, because growing up I always felt like I was destined to be someone great. I knew in my soul that I would be an influencer, and inspire people to love God and be light. Life is so, so temporary but often we get caught up in it. Time is perceived so much differently by us, versus how God views time.
He created each of us to live out a specific purpose in our time on earth. I wonder how many people have actually lived up to their purpose? I know that I don't want to waste my life away, and regret it all later. I already regret wasting so much time in my life and I'm fighting to LIVE. But it is so, so hard. I don't exactly know what the issue is- all I know is that I can't do this in my strength. I need someone who believes in me enough to be willing to push me, and not give up on me or just fade away from my life.
But I HAVE the influence and relationship. Without it, without working on it, I have no power.
That's kind of where I'm at right now. God is the only motivator I need. BUT, He did create people to be in community with each other- for a very specific reason. We need people in our lives to build us up, and they need us to be there to listen and support them as well.
PRAY for these people in your life. Pray that you'll find this small group of people who are solid friends- friendship is so passive these days, and I hate that. I wish things could go back to their original design- but they never will, so I don't know exactly how to create that world again for myself. Because it's not solely up to me. But I need to pray unceasingly for motivation and creativity, or I'm never going to get ANYWHERE. It's slowly killing me.
I'm just beginning to have some leads about how to improve my health. Hopefully, I'll be able to improve my mental health as well- creativity has been so limited in me since my concussion last year. Everything changed for me that day. But I needed a different kind of change.
Life is all about honoring and serving God, and listening to Him when He tells you to do something. Listen to that voice! Be an influencer. We got this.
Tweet me @lifeasemilyhope with responses to this post.
Today was perrrrfeccccctt.
I was woken up by the sound of birds at 4:30 this morning. I fell back asleep, but after about 30 minutes I woke up to the refreshing sound of rain and the feeling of the fresh breeze blowing through my little apartment. That's the perfect way to start a day. I long to find a place in the world where it's not typically humid, usually sunny, and rains a lot. :) That's the dream!
Anyway, I met up with an old friend (since Kindergarten, I might add) for breakfast at a little diner in the town I grew up in. It's the coolest place, I've always loved that classic stuff. The two of us are known (not really) for taking walks together so we went to a park nearby and walked around...
A bit later we took the drive up to the best hill around here, and WOW was it gorgeous! Sunny, breezy, warm, with glider planes taking off overhead... PERFECTION.
THEN, my day resumed with a baby shower for one of my "ex-coworkers". She is so beautiful; I am so glad to have gotten to know her a bit better in the past year. Super excited for her! Her family is the sweetest and so fun; it was a great time.
I got home (I feel like I'm starving btw- I think I may be out of food...) and watched Moana... and cried obvi. It's just so inspiring haha, and the music is influential! Love it.
I've now continued on to watching The Secret Life of Pets. ADORE this movie. Wow. It's just so well put together and FUNNY!
Moving on to my night.... I plan to make some food out whatever's least frost bit in the freezer, and, oh... did I forget to switch that laundry? Sigh. I can't wait until my roommate comes back from vacation.
Upstate NY- June 2017
Follow me @lifeasemilyhope to keep up with me!!
Whoops! I missed a day.
I sit here in my apartment today, alone. This isn't a rare occurrence but my roommate is on vacation. It's different sitting here knowing that she's not gonna be coming in and out for the next few days!
It's so quiet here...
Quiet days like this can be really good, but also really torturous. You can learn a lot from them, or they can destroy you. My day has started out with the negative, but I'm slowly bringing in the positive with my thoughts. I kind of hate being alone, but I don't like having to go and be intentionally WITH people either. It's a balance I suppose.
I need to make a change.
This month was supposed to be all about getting healthy, launching my career, and feeling BETTER about everything. So far, I still feel sick and unproductive. It's a destructive path.
I AM learning a lot though, remember! So it's all worth it. I just can't let it end there.
Here's some of the stuff I've been worried about:
MONEY: Obviously, with no job at the moment, I don't really have any $$ coming in. I have enough to pay all of next months bills, but then that's it. Zilch. Nada. I have been praying about this, because I know that I could get a part time job SO easily, but do I really want that for my life? I have been trapped in jobs like that since I was 16. It's time to move on.
But how does anyone make a living?
I've been told I need to marry rich. I agree, but I don't even know if I wanna get married to begin with! :P
It's hard to be me. I have a lot of dreams but never feel healthy and don't want to just be like everyone else.
So I've been praying that God will LEAD me to something, and I'm not going to lock myself into anything until He does. In other words, I'm pretty sure that I refuse to work for someone else. I want to be an independent contractor, if you will, and clean house and offices and such as that. I have done jobs like that in the past with my parents, why not make a career out of it? I'm very good at cleaning/organizing because I love places to be in order and I have a lot of experience in fixing things. :P So over the next few months while I'm still in NY, that's what I'm gonna need to do.
What are YOU gonna do to live life differently? Comment below.
It's the first day of SUMMER! Here's to vacations, thunderstorms, hikes, campfires, cookouts, swimming, and being with friends and family. It's the greatest time of year, although some would argue this! ;)
I have so much to look forward to this summer- trips, friends returning home, new job of some sort.... this year will be impactful.
Today I live in fear of the future- I am running out of money and scared to put myself out there to actually make money. I love being home and my whole goal was to work from my apartment to begin with! I'm trying to figure this all out.
This is my last week of "freedom" before "real life" starts again. But I'm thinking about doing life differently... long term. I am likely moving to a new state in the fall, and I don't want to just get a normal job here in NY in the meantime. So, I have to find my own way. But that's the best way to do things, right? Society and what's considered to be "normal" are not always right. You don't have to live by the book. Live by one book- the Bible. If you're referencing that and getting together with the author regularly, then everything else is fair game. Try things. Take risks. Start a crazy business. Buy something and rent it out. Go on road trips. Vlog it! Trade some hard work for food and a room. DO STUFF THIS SUMMER.
Life is not meant to be boring; LIVE INTENTIONALLY and NEVER be stuck in something that you're not passionate about.
What's one of your big dreams that has always seemed irrational to you? What are you gonna do about it?
Tweet me @lifeasemilyhope #LiveIntentionally
There are so many things that I'm learning in this time I decided to take off.
For those of you who don't know, 21 days ago I left my job of over 2 years to take a month off of life. Almost every regular commitment I have in the usual week I put on hold.
Most people probably think this whole idea is pretty stupid, but I've actually gotten a lot more support from the adults than I thought I was going to. They can appreciate that I'm just trying to figure things out, and I can absolutely do that in my own way.
This whole month has actually been pretty rough, but even before I started I knew that. I told myself that I was going to finally get things done that I've been putting off- create, write, spend time with God, sing, attempt to write songs once again.... read, start and online store, and more like that. I knew that my past tendencies of laziness and fear were going to try and stop me from doing these things, but I wasn't going to let them. Honestly, it's a lot harder than it even sounds. Here I am on day 20, and I still have barely done any of those things.
Knowing all of this, I understood that no matter what way this month was to go, I would learn a lot, and I would always look back on this time and be SO glad that I did this. I don't think that is false, because I am learning. I am learning what works in my schedule and what doesn't- I'm learning what's important. Waking up and doing the dishes right away is how I like to start my days now. That is, if I don't shower the night before. If I do shower, I wake up and start some laundry, or fold some from the days before.
It's all about finding what works for you, and what's most important to you. Yeah, I waste a whole lot of time. Most of it is because of fear, and honestly just not knowing what to do. It's like I don't want to start something because I'm so unsure about if it's worth investing my time into. But it's better to invest your time in SOMETHING than to not invest it into anything at all.
Young adults: those of you who are not locked into a "big" job where you will seriously pay for doing this.... Take some time off. Figure out what you want to do and what you love to do. Passion is way more important than the payout. I know it sounds crazy; but I'm doing it.
Do this with me! Follow the journey on Twitter starting today
If you know me very well at all, you know that I struggle a lot with anxiety.
I have been so overwhelmed lately, and it's just getting worse.
God has been showing me so much, and I am walking closer to Him.
But, as soon as you start pursuing God, the devil starts pursuing YOU even harder. He is scared of the influence you can have over others, and he doesn't want God to use you. He is always looking to kill and destroy. Do not let him rob you of your delight and curiosity in God.
We all go through hard things, and hard times. But I will not let circumstances change my reaction or my love for God. I want to want Him when I am doing great, and also know that He is gonna be there to fall back on when the weight of circumstance gets too heavy for me to bear.
His word is my shield and my sword, when the whole world seems against me.
I love Him, and He loves me in an amount I don't even have the brain capacity to understand that it exists. HOW INSANE.
Never let satan win when your circumstances aren't good. He is the enemy- and you have the STRONGEST FORCE on your side, with whom you can not suffer forever. He is there for you and He... LOVES YOU! I can't say that enough. He made the biggest sacrifice ever to make sure you know just how much He cares for you and wants to be in relationship with you.
Love is a choice- and He made it.
Tweet me @lifeasemilyhope with your thoughts/any questions!
Alright, so we're gonna talk about the thing that you're actually wondering about right now.
Have I dated anyone before?
I ask you, have you?
Every single blog or YouTube channel seems to address this. It's such an important and prominent thing in our culture and all those before us. Romantic relationships have so much pressure and thought on them.
I do have to say, that yes, I am single. No, I have NEVER had a boyfriend. And you know what? I've almost always been okay with that.
I mean, we all go through that weird time when we're 13 when we just hate everything and want everything else...
But other than that, I've actually not been sure if I even want to get married.
That is something that is so strange for people to hear, but I honestly do not feel driven to get married. Do I think that I will get married someday and be okay with it? Yes. But I've never felt like "now" is the time.
I have so much that I want to do, SO much. Some people's dreams are simple, and they are okay with that. My dreams are many, huge, and adventurous. I need to step out in faith and do some scary and crazy things before my whole future is settled. I don't want that for myself! At least, not right now. Give me a few years to get my adventure on!!
So, that being said.. I actually think that I would be okay with being married, or with being single. Like, forever. It's all about being satisfied in wherever you're at, because God has created a beautiful thing in you, to love and to serve in a unique way. It's incredible!
I'm telling you all of this to say this:
Being single is not who you are. It is where you are, but it does not change ANYTHING about who God intended you to be. And if you're married or dating, then that shouldn't change who you are supposed to be either.
Be content with where you are, and WHO you are in Christ. 1 Peter 5:6-7
Have some thoughts to share on this topic? Tweet me @lifeasemilyhope, #TeamEmilyH
Since embarking on this new adventure that is this website, frequently I have some thoughts that I'm not okay with.
It usually goes something like this:
"Why should people listen to what I have to say? No one clicks on my posts anyway- what do people do to get others to care?"
It is actually a very valid thought, but I know that I can't let that stop me. Yes, I do have a goal of making my online presence my full-time job, and that means that I need to get attention to my site. But that's not all that this is about...
I write and sing because I LOVE it. I have something to say, no matter if anyone listens and no matter if anyone cares. God is using me where I'm at, even if it's just to motivate MYSELF to keep going and always try.
I love that you can post a thought or picture or song on the internet and MILLIONS of people have the opportunity to click on it. How crazy is that, really?
That brings hope. If someone searches something that they are struggling with, they could somehow end up on my site reading my experiences and what I've learned in a similar situation. How cool!
You have the power to influence, and you do have something that's worth saying.
Never let the unknowns, or the feeling of failure stop you from being uniquely you. God is SO proud of you when you do something that He made you to love.
It's crazy awesome!!!
I have a lot on my mind tonight as I write this, and I have so many things that I feel I should share.
Last night I was talking to a friend about God.
I have been pretty frustrated and exhausted with my job for months and months now.
Lately however, I have noticed that my attitude at work isn't so great.
A few months ago I took on the role as supervisor at my workplace, and it has been a hard transition. I went from being only a little "higher up" than all my co-workers to being in charge of them. It has been difficult for them to adjust to this, if they are even trying..
I am honestly trying my best, but social anxiety and stress have been conquering me quite a bit.
Anyway, in my conversation last night, the fact that God is and can use me in my workplace came up.
That is the truth! It's hard to KNOW that in the everyday, and act on it. But I do have an influence there.
"Actions speak louder than words".
If I have a good attitude and am motivated, others will notice. They may follow in my steps and learn self-motivation as well! It's actually crazy how much what you do matters.
I am actually hoping to move on from my job in the next few months. I have a huge and crazy plan, and I'm actually a little hesitant to tell people about it. I know I will be judged, and looked down on, especially by older adults. But I am young, why can't I challenge myself and do something a little untraditional or crazy??
More to be announced about that later, but I am just saying.
God can use you exactly where you are.
Sometimes when you want to make a change and have a big decision to make, the answer or solution isn't black and white.
Sometimes you just have to have faith that in whatever you decide to do, God will be with you. Sometimes you just have to step out, and stop asking what you should do. Have faith! He loves you and is working everything together for the good of those who love Him. Romans 8:28
#ChallengeYourself #BeMotivated #DoSomethingDifferent
So, you weren't meant for the spotlight?
That's totally okay! And I am going to tell you why.
Think about your favorite song of the moment. What do you like about it? Is it... the melody?
The rhythm? The killer vocals?
While some of us only notice one or two parts of a song without our brains falling apart, others, like me, can note all the different instruments, strum patterns, beats, vocal styles, etc.
During a live show, the people who get the most attention from the audience are the lead singer and the drummer. The drummer holds the beat- and what person can play drums really well and not seem super attractive??
The lead singer captivates the audience by their body language, strong and beautiful voice, and their spirit. They sing the part we all love to sing along to.
But wait... let's reconsider this.
Now, I'm not saying that your A Capella solo in the shower doesn't rock, ...but think about the beauty of your typical A Cappella group. Each person sings a different part. They play off their strengths. Tenor, Bass, Soprano, Baritone.... each has a completely different range. But when they all sing together, something AMAZING and unique happens. You get something like this:
Do you see what I'm saying here?? These girls did an incredible job. But although a lot of you were probably paying the MOST attention to the melody, there is a part (many parts in this case) that makes this INCREDIBLE. The harmony!!!!
Harmonizers are underestimated. Like bass guitarists, they kind of hide behind the lead singer and just play their part. But how boring would this video be without all the harmony?
THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS!!!
It doesn't matter if you tend to be hidden behind the glory of someone else. Your role is as important as those who tend to stand out a little more. Start thinking about things differently.
Stop wishing you had what they have. You can't long to stand out when you haven't yet embraced the very thing you hide. God gave us different talents and strengths so we would realize how much we need each other!!
Sing your own part. You have your own unique range, and that is beautiful. It's your strength!
One last note:
Never underestimate your dreams, your talents, or your role. You have something in you that the person that reads this post next doesn't have. And the person who read this before you has a strength in something that you don't. Maybe something you haven't even considered before!
Once you figure out just what makes you different, EMBRACE it! Don't hide it, or fear it.
Let's start to sing TOGETHER and change the world. Because where I am weak, someone is strong. We all have people in our lives who can encourage and teach us.
Life is made of beautiful music.
Tweet me @lifeasemilyhope with comments/questions.