Whoops! I missed a day.
I sit here in my apartment today, alone. This isn't a rare occurrence but my roommate is on vacation. It's different sitting here knowing that she's not gonna be coming in and out for the next few days!
It's so quiet here...
Quiet days like this can be really good, but also really torturous. You can learn a lot from them, or they can destroy you. My day has started out with the negative, but I'm slowly bringing in the positive with my thoughts. I kind of hate being alone, but I don't like having to go and be intentionally WITH people either. It's a balance I suppose.
I need to make a change.
This month was supposed to be all about getting healthy, launching my career, and feeling BETTER about everything. So far, I still feel sick and unproductive. It's a destructive path.
I AM learning a lot though, remember! So it's all worth it. I just can't let it end there.
Here's some of the stuff I've been worried about:
MONEY: Obviously, with no job at the moment, I don't really have any $$ coming in. I have enough to pay all of next months bills, but then that's it. Zilch. Nada. I have been praying about this, because I know that I could get a part time job SO easily, but do I really want that for my life? I have been trapped in jobs like that since I was 16. It's time to move on.
But how does anyone make a living?
I've been told I need to marry rich. I agree, but I don't even know if I wanna get married to begin with! :P
It's hard to be me. I have a lot of dreams but never feel healthy and don't want to just be like everyone else.
So I've been praying that God will LEAD me to something, and I'm not going to lock myself into anything until He does. In other words, I'm pretty sure that I refuse to work for someone else. I want to be an independent contractor, if you will, and clean house and offices and such as that. I have done jobs like that in the past with my parents, why not make a career out of it? I'm very good at cleaning/organizing because I love places to be in order and I have a lot of experience in fixing things. :P So over the next few months while I'm still in NY, that's what I'm gonna need to do.
What are YOU gonna do to live life differently? Comment below.