It's hard to look around at your life and feel completely satisfied. Recently, I have been struggling with knowing what's really going on, and being unsure of things takes away our satisfaction, for sure. Let me explain.
Two days after my birthday, a little over a month ago, I woke up early in the morning, not feeling well. I got up and the end result was my passing out on the bathroom floor. The ambulance came, my heart rate was really low, and my blood pressure was low. Later we came to the realization that when I passed out, I hit my head on the tile floor, resulting in a concussion. Terrible, right?
So, after all of that was over, we tried to figure out why I had passed out to begin with and why I felt crappy for weeks after. My heart rate was very fast 40% of the time during a 24-hour heart monitor that I had to wear. It was over 100 BPM! Kind of terrible. Anyway, I am now pretty much diagnosed as having thyroid problems, and was told that I will have to take medication every day for the rest of my life.
Sitting in the doctor's office this last time, discussing the end results, I actually started to cry.
I have been overwhelmed with the uncertainty- what is wrong with my heart? What if I pass out again? To be honest, I have been scared to go into a bathroom very often after I passed out. If I start to feel hot or just a little dizzy, I'm scared that I'll pass out again. I haven't really been thinking about the "why" in all of this. I have asked out loud why this would be happening to me, but it's just a thought at the back of my mind, I suppose. But because of my extensive medical journey that I've been on throughout my life, I do understand that this is just part of what God has planned for me. It is for a reason, indeed. I know I don't have to really worry about it, because He's got me. I need to pursue Him more for sure, but I'm not worried.
I was feeling creative and this picture and these words came to my mind. So here I share this to encourage you. I love that God doesn't want us to worry. He wants us to know that He will take care of us, and He already takes care of us every day! Also, we can't forget that He has the power to heal. Pray, pray, pray!
What is your current battle and how are you dealing with it? Leave a comment below!